The Brotherhood of the Elves
by Golden-Flute
Summary: NO SLASH! Okay, a little one chappie April Fools thing for you... what if, in TTT, Legolas stumbled while he, Gimli and Aragorn were chasing the Uruk Hai! Co-written by Trinityelf.


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Title: Brotherhood of the Elves

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Authors: Posted and somewhat written by **Legolas-gurl88**. Co-written by mellon-nin, **Trinityelf.**

Disclaimer: We do not own Legolas, Aragorn, Gimli, Elrond or Haldir. What a shame! Don't think we don't _want _to own them. Tolkien does.

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Author Note: This story (as it says up in the authors part) was co-written by Trinityelf, my very good friend. I actually came up with the 'what if this happened' and told her what should happen and she was the less-lazy one and put part of it on paper. Then, she let me read it and I finished it. Some things might have been changed in the process, but this is just our short, one chappie, goofy story.

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Another Author Note: We decided to post this during April Fools since it kinda met the mood. If you like this, look out for other co-written stories of ours. There is bound to be a lot after this.

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Yet Another Author Note: Hi, Trin! Sorry, guys. On with the chappie!

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One More Author Note: This takes place in TTT where, at the beginning of the movie, when Aragorn, Legolas and Gimli are running, there is a big wide shot. If you watch carefully, you can see that Orlando stumbles, but catches himself up and keeps running, then stops to turn and motion for Gimli to run faster. You have to give the poor guy some credit, though, he was running with a broken rib, but this story is a, 'what if this happened' type of story. So, here it is:

Enjoy!

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1. (And only) Banned

Legolas, Aragorn and Gimli had been running across the planes of Rohan for three days and nights. They had been running for that long to catch up with the Uruk-Hai that had captured Merry and Pippin back at Amon Hen. Frodo and Sam were probably on their way to Mordor, and the three runners regretted leaving them, but knew Merry and Pippin were in more of a need. Aragorn was in the lead, his ranger tracking skills helping the runners greatly. Legolas came next, his elf eyes and ears helping them to a great extent in seeing the Uruk-Hai. And Gimli was in the back, doing nothing but complaining about the long run.

Legolas, while running, trying to catch up with Aragorn to talk to him, tripped over a rock and stumbled. Yes, it's true… our favorite elf, Legolas, stumbled. The elf quickly caught himself, looked up and pretended nothing had happened. He smoothed over his hair with a hand and started running again. _Maybe nobody saw,_ he thought. But suddenly, he came to a sudden halt when he heard a loud booming voice that seemed to be coming from the sky, which oddly sounded like Elrond's voice. Apparently, somebody _had _noticed his less-than-graceful stumble back a little ways.

"LEGOLAS GREENLEAF!" Elrond's voice boomed. The sky turned dark and clouded over. Lightning flashed in the distance. "You are hereby banned from the B.O.T.E."

"Boat?" Gimli gasped, catching up to where Legolas stood.

"The Brotherhood of the Elves, Gimli son of Gloin," Elrond said in a lazy voice.

"Oh."

"Anyway, as I was saying, Legolas Greenleaf, you are hereby banned from the Brotherhood of the Elves!" 

Legolas, being naturally aloof, gave no reaction, save his eyes, which widened in horror and disbelief.

"This means," Elrond continued, appearing before Legolas magically, "That you will no longer be an Elf. You will no longer have pointy ears or be able to walk on top of snow," Legolas still gave no reaction. Only the next thing that Elrond said, captured his attention:

"Your supply of _Herbal Essence_ shampoo and other Elven hair-care products will be confiscated, and never again, will you be allowed to use ANY Elven hair-care products again! EVER!"

"NNNNNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!" Legolas screamed. How could he live without his _Herbal Essence _and other hair-care products, that he used daily and kept lovingly in the pack that he carried, which fell off his back as he fell on his knees in horror. The ex-Elf watched in disbelief as his bag of shampoo and other hair necessities disappeared with a loud poof.

"NNNNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!" Legolas screamed again. He clutched his hair in his hands, falling to the ground where he began kicking and screaming. Elrond cackled at the pathetic sight before him.

"Ha ha ha!!!!! I LOVE MY JOB!" Elrond said before continuing, "And in your place, Gimli son of Gloin, the _Dwarf_ will join!" Gimli looked up in surprise, and he was not unhappy at all! He would be able to get closer to Galadriel, the Elf queen that he had developed an infatuation for. The Dwarf/Elf punched the air and yelled, "YESSSSSS!"

"Oh, this is good!" Elrond laughed, watching as Legolas kept up his kicking on the ground. "A Dwarf taking the place of an Elf, who is acting very pathetic at the moment!" Gimli was doing his Victory Dance and Legolas was on the ground, rolling around on the ground. Aragorn was watching, amused. "How funny is this?" He murmured at the sight before him.

Suddenly, Legolas felt the shine of his hair melting down his ears, which were painfully being rounded, and the shine of his hair fell into a puddle on the ground. His hair blew in the wind and, to his horror, tangled.

"A! I can't see!" he yelled, his eyes turning hazel; his ability to see far away had gone. Then, the wind and trees stopped singing to him as the sound turned off.

  
"A! I can't hear!"

He looked up at Gimli, who was getting longer and skinnier by the second. His knotted red hair was turning blonde while he did a Happy Dance. His eyes turned blue, his ears grew pointy and his beard was slowly lengthening, finally shrinking back into his face, which elongated and smoothed out.

"Look at me! I'm skinny! In your face, Legolas! IN YOUR FACE!!!" Gimli said.

Legolas stood up in anger and realized he was two feet shorter than Gimli. An unruly beard was growing out and his eyebrows grew itchy, bristly hairs. He could feel his nose growing bigger and he could see it as well, if he crossed his eyes. Within seconds, he was as tall as his quiver which was still attached to his back. His clothes were also very baggy. 

Then, all of a sudden, the sound clicked back on and Legolas realized the trees and wind were singing to him again. The beard shrank again and he lifted a hand to feel his soft Elven skin return. His eyebrows shortened and turned their beautiful dark color and his hair shone again. He felt his ears return to their old, pointy selves and his excellent eyesight came back. Legolas then looked _down _at Gimli who was turning back into his old Dwarvish self again.

"NOOOO!" Gimli yelled, "Must get good figure back! Stomach… growing!"

Elrond smiled happily.

"April Fools!" he yelled gleefully.

"Aw, poo!" Gimli exclaimed.

"Hannen lle, Ada, but we really need to go after the Orcs," Aragorn said, trying not to laugh at the way his two friends were now behaving. Legolas stepped forward.

"I'll lead, because I alone can see them!" he said happily, skipping around his three friends.

"Hey, I can see them too!" Elrond whined, watching Legolas skip around them freakishly. 

"Don't burst my happy bubble, man!" Legolas yelled, running away in the direction they had been running. Aragorn shrugged, lifting an eyebrow and ran after the elf. Gimli huffed unhappily.

"Couldn't you have at least let me keep the good figure?!" He yelled angrily at Elrond, who shrugged.

"Sorry, dude." He said and the Dwarf cursed and ran away, towards Aragorn and Legolas, who clicked his heels in the distance.

"Heh, heh," Elrond said, pulling Legolas's shampoo and other Elven hair-care products out of his pocket, "That was almost too easy! Now, let's see if Legolas's shampoo will work for me!" And he went on his way to ruin Haldir's day.

THE END

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What did you guys think?! Please, before you leave, REVIEW! Trinityelf and I would be very happy if you did! Thanks a bunch! We hope you enjoyed it!

Luv,

Legolas-gurl88

And

Trinityelf

~!@#$%^&*()(*&^%$#@!~

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Legolas-gurl88: Well, that went rather well, wouldn't you say, Trinityelf?

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Trinityelf: It was okay, but you changed it a lot!  


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Legolas-gurl88: Sorry, but as I was typing, more thoughts just came to me and I wanted to make it a little longer.

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Trinityelf: *mumbles* I'll bet Viggo would have done it better…

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Legolas-gurl88: No, he wouldn't, because Orlando would have beaten him by a mile had he written this story!

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Trinityelf: Orlando doesn't use a computer! He couldn't post if he tried!

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Legolas-gurl88: *Defending* At least he's smart, reads more books, is funny, sweet caring, nice, recites poetry…

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Trinityelf: Here we go…

*Trinityelf waits half an hour for Legolas-gurl88 to stop naming all the good qualities of Orlando.*

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Trinityelf: Are you finished?

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Legolas-gurl88: *pauses*… awesome actor, cool, knows Johnny Depp…

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Crane: *Pops up out of nowhere* JOHNNY DEPP!

*Legolas-gurl88 and Trinityelf jump as their other friend jumps in on the conversation.*

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Legolas-gurl88: Where did you come from?!

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Crane:… Johnny Depp!

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Trinityelf: Is that all you can say?

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Crane:… Johnny Depp!

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Trinityelf: Why do we even bother?

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Legolas-gurl88: No, she can say more… listen.

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Crane:… David Wenham!

Trinityelf: *Unenthusiastically* Great…

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Legolas-gurl88: ORLANDO BLOOM!

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Trinityelf: VIGGO MORTENSON!

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Crane: JOHNNY DEPP!!!!

*silence*

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Crane: DAVID WENHAM!

THE END


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